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3 Levels Of Listening | Forbes Coaches Council Interview

May 05, 2022

When you study communication, you tend to see tips and tools for designing your language. You don't see much about taking in the language you hear from the outside and storing it inside. It's called listening.

I'll talk about 3 levels of listening and why they are essential for you to become a better communicator.

LEVEL 1: Your own world; it’s all about you

Level 1 is when you're totally in your world and ask yourself this question: "What does it mean to me?" Your focus is on yourself, and attention is on yourself. It's all about you, your beliefs, values, goals, where you are in your life, and how that upcoming information from the outside world relates to your reality. Therefore, that is level 1 listening and what we witness most of the time; which is a problem.

Why is it a problem?

Because not everything is about you.

LEVEL 2: Listening to the other person; “become” them

Level 2 is listening to the other person. How would I do things if I were them? And you put your focus on the other person, and you become them. How do you become them? You start thinking as if you are them. You do your best to look at the reality as if you are them, you think about who their friends are, what their perspectives, goals are in life, and how old they are, etc.

If they have needs different from yours and have different goals and visions about life, you become them, which is a huge shift in your consciousness. To forget about you, you need to be asking yourself this question at the level 2 listening: "What does it mean for them? What does it mean for this person? What does it mean for this client, manager, and employee?"

So, literally being selfless.

LEVEL 3: Consider timing and environment

Level 3 combines level 1 and 2 with the environment and time.

Level 3 listening is also open to sensory input on top of paying attention to that person's needs and goals at level 2.

You are also bringing some extra contextual elements like: "Where we are now? Is it a good environment to talk about these things? Is your mind prepared for this question? Is your mental space open to go deep with this content?"

I've been studying Neuroscience and communication for the last 20 years. As humanity, we all want to feel heard, seen and appreciated, and even more important than all there is, is that we all want to be SAFE. And if you want to give these emotions to the people you are communicating with, I want you to communicate and listen at level 2 and level 3. You'll give people such a gift and be able to provide them with the feeling of being heard, seen, and appreciated.

To learn more about 3 levels of listening, you can check out my online course:  

To learn more about my Licensed NLP & ICF Approved Coaching certification programs, personal and professional development programs, and to receive FREE Training, you can visit my website:  

With love ❤️

Shiny Unsal

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