6 Game-Changing Listening Techniques- Transcript
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[00:00:00] My name is Shiny Burcu Unsal. I am the proud creator of NeuroShine technology and your NeuroShine coach.
[Music: Are you ready to shine? Come on, it's the shiny one. You got this. If you want to go collat...]
Let's talk about communication together. More specifically, listening. And please imagine with me. Imagine that you live in a world where your ability to communicate is taken away from you. Just think about it. How would you feel? What would you do? How would you deliver your messages? How would you receive information from others? How would you store that information? Do you understand why communication is really important? And do you also understand why listening is extra important? [00:01:00] If you ask my opinion, I want to live in a world where we really pay attention, not only to the way we communicate but also to the way we listen to each other. Because according to neuroscience and neurolinguistic programming, one thing we know that the part in the brain, amygdala, wants us to survive. And that survival includes our emotional wellbeing. We want to be heard, we want to be appreciated, and we want to be safe with others. So when you're receiving information, when you are listening to other people, It is so important that you know how to do it because unfortunately, we don't know how to listen. There is not a specific way or a training manual that we were taught at schools on how to listen, right? So that's why I would love to share six tips with [00:02:00] you, six strategies on how to improve your listening skills. Why is it important to improve your listening skills? So that you feel you are giving your attention, you are giving respect and your presence to other people so that they feel appreciated and they want to talk more with you so that you can give them nourishing moments in my language Which are the moments of truth. You know, you have those aha moments. You become aware of something that you were not aware before. Those moments are absolutely transformational. And if you are able to listen effectively, you will be able to give them that gift, that gift of transformation. We use this a lot in coaching business and coaching is the mindset. So you can also adopt that mindset. So if you're ready, Let's go.
Number one, the first thing [00:03:00] you can do if you want to listen everybody more effectively, give them some silence and some space. What does that mean? I mean, I suffered a lot from this one myself. I always wanted to feel in that awkward silence space. You know what I'm talking about? When you communicate, there is a silence and you're waiting. Say something. No, actually, it's okay. It's actually very needed, very necessary, and very effective to give people some silence, some quiet time so that they can process information. And you also need to give yourself some time. And you need to keep quiet when they are speaking so that you also give that quiet time to yourself to process what they're saying. That's important.
[00:04:00] Number two, use eye contact. Eye contact makes people feel they're welcome. They're appreciated. And. So when you keep your eye contact with the person who is speaking with you, you literally let them become more friendly, more open with you. And then they feel like, Oh, I This person actually values me and what I'm saying, so I'm going to keep talking. So it's a really good listening skill and you want others to also keep an eye contact with you, don't you? I mean, imagine you are talking to someone and they're absolutely not looking at you and they're distracted. They're kind of like, huh? How would that feel? Totally weird, right? That's why please give the gift of the eye contact to the person you're listening to.
Number three now, [00:05:00] be mindful of your body language. Also, The body language of the person who is speaking. Why is that important? Because body language reveals a lot. And according to the communication science, your body language is 55 percent of what you're already saying. Or, in the case of listening, how you're listening. Your body language is going to reveal if you are talking. getting the information if you agree with someone so picture this if you're nodding to someone it is an obvious sign that you're on the same page right you kind of like get what they're saying and you're processing it and you're agreeing and if you feel like This with your body language and your facial expression, which gives a sign that you're not quite sure if you are understanding what they're saying. Kind of like confused. Am I doing it well? [00:06:00] Type of like that. Also, if the speaker is using the body language to deliver a message, like I am doing right now, pay attention to their body language as well, because people Actually tell you everything literally in their body language. Watch this. I have this huge problem, right? To me, I'm just showing you how big it is, how huge it is. Or, you know, I saw this butterfly. It was just so cute. Right? So body language speaks so much and you can actually hear what they are not saying if you pay attention to their body language. You can get their energy, you can get their emotions, and then you can go deeper right underneath the iceberg.
Number four. Now we're going to talk about some emotional intelligence skills. Empathy. Empathy. Using empathy sounds like. Validating someone. [00:07:00] And here's an example. Hmm, I hear what you're saying. It must be really hard. I can relate to that. I've been there too. That's empathy. Empathy is literally going out of your own agenda, your own consciousness, and switching your consciousness, and feeling like how they would be feeling, how they would look at the situation, and literally feeling like Feeling, trying to understand their feelings and emotions. When you listen with empathy, it is going to be much easier for you to be on the same page.
Number five, as a great listener, you want to be able to ask open ended, powerful questions. Why are they powerful? Because they're transformational. They're not like your everyday questions. How are you doing? That is not a powerful question. It's a transactional question. [00:08:00] Do you like working with Mary? Yes or no. That's not a powerful question. Why? Again, that's an everyday transactional question. A powerful question sounds something like this. How do you feel working with Mary? Boom. It starts with what or how and it's open ended and it gives the other person some space, some thinking time and an open space to give their perspective. They're not limited with yes or no. They can tell you whatever they want to tell you. It's such a teeny tiny distinction and yet that's where the transformation is. That's where the nourishing moment is and that's where awareness becomes the truth. Of everyone. And you do not want to miss it.
Last but not least, this is my favorite one. Mental follow up. Why is this my favorite font? Because I feel like we're not [00:09:00] using the power of our minds. Think about it. You have all the skills to picture something. Think of a purple elephant right now. Boom! You did it, right? So you have that ability. When you're listening to someone, listen to them by creating images of what they're saying. So this mental follow up is going to keep you focused on what they're saying. If you don't do this, you're not listening. You're going to find yourself distracted. You can even find yourself focusing on something else in your mind. You might be thinking about what you're going to be doing next after this conversation or your projects that are waiting. So it's really important to have that mental alignment with what is going on. in your environment.
So, I hope these six strategies were helpful for you to improve your listening skills because they are really [00:10:00] intelligent skills. If you keep practicing all of these skills, I know you're going to become a great listener and that's what we need more of. Don't you think so? I believe we need more great listeners in this world because this world needs to become a better place. And together with more love and shiny minds, we can totally achieve it. If you like this video, please share it with your friends so they can also become better listeners and subscribe to my channel.
To watch more videos on the subjects of communication, neuro linguistic programming, coaching, leadership skills, development, and also to become a better version of you. We need to make this world a better place with more love and shiny minds.
[Outro music: Your bright space. Absolutely. Cause she knows your heart. Awareness. And she definitely knows your [00:11:00] mind. It's amazing, yes! She'll give you her love. My love. And give you her time. Determination. Cause she's the shiny one, shiny one, shiny one. I'm the shiny one. You know she's lots of fun, lots of fun. I'm gonna change with fun. Bring your sorrows and your sadness. She'll help you take it away.]
