Some of us are too much in the head and some of us are too much in the heart. That's exactly why I created my Neuro-Shine Technology™ as a combination of the power of the mind and the wisdom of the heart.
If you know you are too much in the head you need to drop into your heart and you need more empathy, more heart intelligence to understand people, appreciate emotions in order to get ahead in life.
And if you know you are someone who is a bit too emotional and too much in the heart, then you need a little bit of logic, a little bit of thinking, cognitive thinking.
So when you combine the two and create a balance, now you have the perfect ingredients to communicate your negative emotions intelligently.
When people are hurt because of the negative emotions they experience, they tend to hurt other people. I'm sure you heard it: "hurt people hurt other people". And that happens because a) they lack self regulation, which is a very important emotional intelligence skill, and b) they are unable to decode that negative emotion and what it really means to them.
And I have some very effective strategies to help you communicate your negative emotions intelligently both to yourself and others. Here they are:
1) Identify your emotion:
Most of the times, you are not even aware of your emotions. And even if you are, you may not know the name of that specific feeling or you may not have a language for it. And you can end up mixing your frustration with anger and your anger with being annoyed. You need to label your emotions accurately so that you can move on to the next step.
2) Take full responsibility:
When you take full responsibility of your thoughts, emotions, language of your emotions, your decisions, actions and behaviors about your emotions, then you are fully in charge.
Think about it, nobody has the power to do an open heart surgery to you and put a negative emotion into your heart, right? It's your system. Your brain and your heart communicating together and your consiousness deciding which feeling you'll feel at any moment. So you are in charge.
And when you are in charge, you get to make all of your decisions, including how to feel. Don't you wanna be in charge? You wanna be in charge.
3) Assume the best in others:
It's true that some people have bad intentions and they are literally unbelievable and unbearable, I am with you. And still yet, it's not good for you to keep dwelling on that. Trust me it's much healthier and much better to assume the best in others; if you want to communicate your negative emotions intelligently and contribute to create a better world together.
4) Reframe your negative emotions with open ended questions:
Open ended questions are powerful and transformational. Especially the ones starting with What and How. They create instant breakthroughs. When you reframe your negative emotions as open ended questions you empower yourself and others and become more intelligent about them.
Here is an example sentence to apply all these four strategies in your communication and communicate your negative emotion intelligently:
BEFORE: You broke my heart. (complain and blame)
AFTER: I know your intention was good. And still what you did today made me feel really uncomfortable. What was in your mind? (1. identify what's going on 2. appreciate that it's going on 3. assume the best in that person 4. reframe it as an open ended question)
This type of communication is going to save you heart-brakes and help you with your business agreements, relationships, friendships, career moves, promotions, opportunities, great memories, making money creating a life you want with more freedom, influence and joy and so much more!
If you keep communicating in an unintelligent way through blaming people, complaining and making them feel guilty, as you'll be triggering people's amygdala, they'll automatically go into defense that's never gonna work.
Understanding, accepting and communicating negative emotions is a skill that'll help you for a lifetime! Because we need more people with these skills to make this world a better place, with more love ❤️ and #shinyminds.
Shiny B Unsal
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