How To Become Your Best FriendApr 12, 2023
Hello Shiny Minds!
Today, we're gonna talk about you and how you can become your own best friend!
Why is it important?
Well... Look at the world we live in. Look what's going on around you. Look at all the opinions and the news and the media and your phone... Everywhere you go everybody says something, but which one is yours?
Whose opinion are you going to listen?
Whose advice are you going to take?
Who are you going to enjoy yourself with?
Who are you going to trust?
Well... Let's start with YOU!
My advice is... You can begin becoming your own best friend. You can begin choosing your own self over others. That way you can be even more strategic about the opinions that you receive, about the advices you take, including this one!
I have 5 ideas for you to become your own best friend! Are you ready? Let's go!
1. STOP CRITICIZING YOURSELF
If you are doing this, enough already. Let's put it in a context: Let's say that you have your best friend right next to you and you are having a conversation. And the only thing your best friend does is criticizing you, criticizing you, criticizing you and giving you a hard time.
How would you feel?
It's really annoying, isn't it?
That's why you kind of wanna stop that already.
So if you are somebody who loves criticizing, become aware of that and please stop it!
It's important for you to allow yourself to make mistakes and to learn from them!
It's important for you to accept that you are a work in progress. Okay?
I personally had to learn that "done" is better than "perfect" and I am not that hard on myself any more. I mean I'm still doing my part but like I said, I am a work in progress.
2. STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF
Again, picture this with me: Your best friend is sitting right next to you and you want to open your heart, you want to share something that's bothering you and the only thing you hear from your best friend is: "Ohhh... I'm so sorry for you... Ohhh it's horrible... Ohh.. poor you... Wow it must be so sad... It must suck to be you now... I would not definitely wanna be in your place..."
Do you get it? :)
It's ok if you want to give yourself some compassion but there is a fine line between compassion and pity.
So if you run into that kind of self talk upstairs (in your head) stop it! So that you can remember it's a choice. You know, you don't need to be weak, hopeless and helpless. It's just a natural way to go through a problem or a phase of life.
So instead of feeling sorry for yourself, turn around and ask yourself: "what's great about this?"
3. START ASKING POWERFUL QUESTIONS TO YOURSELF
Powerful questions are:
a) Open ended
b) Deep and creative
c) They take you to a place you haven't thought about before
And they are meant to be non-judgmental, non-advising and non-approving. That's why they are powerful. They are like: "here is the question, do whatever you want with it."
So if you train your brain to formulate those powerful questions it's going to be easier to become your best friend.
Think about it... Your ideal best friend would always be there for you, hold the space for you, who doesn't judge you, criticize you or try to fix your problems, right? He or she would be a person who gets you, who supports you, kind of confronts you when there is a blind spot that you may not see, tells you the truth and still leaves it to you because that's your own decision, it's up to you. So they wouldn't try to control you, makes decisions on behalf of you, right?
And in order for you to do all these things to yourself as your best self, you really need to train your brain about your powerful questions. You need to learn how to transform those inner self-critic and negative voices and turn them into these powerful transformational questions that are enlightening and in my language, neuron-shining.
In my Neuro-Shine Technology™, I do have this expression that's called "Neuro-Shine Moment™. Neuro-Shine Moment™ is the moment of truth, when you realize the truth about yourself, it lights up your brain, right? That's why it's Neuro-Shine™. Your neurons are lit up, they are shining bright.
That's the whole idea. If you give yourself a ton of Neuro-Shine Moments™, guess what? You are on your way to become your own best friend.
4. START SPENDING MORE TIME WITH YOURSELF
When was the last time you took yourself out for a dinner? Just you and you? I mean you can be romantic with yourself, you can give yourself some love, some credit: " Hey Shiny, you've been doing great lately. I just wanted to celebrate you and I wanted to take you out. So let's talk about your success!
I know you might be laughing right now as you are watching this. But guess what? This has to be your internal reality. That's how you're going to be your best friend.
Best friends they support each other. They celebrate each other. They take each other out for dinner! So do that!
If you love going to a massage, do that. If you love going to a spa, do that. If you love taking a walk in the nature, do that. Go to the beach, do that. Roller Skating, do that. Biking? Do that. Do whatever makes your heart sing.
5. MAXIMIZE YOUR LOVE FOR YOURSELF
I know it's a very hot topic. Everybody is talking about self love. And guess what? We can do even more! And that's why I am using the word: "maximize" and here is how it can look like:
Maximizing your self love might look like taking the time to cook for yourself. Because you know what foods are good for your beautiful body. You know how you feel after eating them. So do that!
Maybe you also love being creative. So take the time to create something that makes you feel so alive!
Or it can also look like just sitting down and thinking. If you love that. That's maximizing your self love.
Or maybe, you wanna connect with others. Maybe you wanna connect with your mom, your dad, your siblings, your friends, your relatives, your mentors, your coaches (I hope you have them), whatever that means to you connecting with people, they are absolutely going to bring more love to you and that's going to become also self-love for you.
So, I hope my video helped you and you liked my ideas. If you did, please like it and share it with your friends and also subscribe to my channel so that you can love yourself even more with my content in Neuro Linguistic Programming, NLP, Coaching, Neuroscience, Heart Science, Positive Psychology, Emotional Intelligence, Quantum Physics, Metaphysics, Leadership, Self love, Self confidence and even more...
And also remember: It's important that you love yourself even more and you give yourself more Neuro-Shine Moments™, because that's exactly what we need, to become our own best friends, to make this world a better place, with more love ❤️ and #shinyminds ....
Shiny Burcu Unsal
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